Rebi's Gap Year Blog

shine on you crazy diamond...

2007-04-29T01:25:00.000-06:00

okay, so now that i am in turkey with relatively nothing to do (and at this moment nothing to eat...) i am going to blog as if i really meant to keep this thing up. i wonder who i am actually blogging for. my mom, mom's friends, grandpa, my friends, myself...i guess i just don't know.
well i left ein gev on thursday which was a little sad. i really love it there. my roommate kindly hitchhiked with me to the bus station and from there i somehow got to my aunt's house near tel aviv in ramat hasharon. saying goodbye to mario sucked. i really miss him now.
oh ya, and i guess i should mention that i have a boyfriend, who is amazing. mario from guatemala. 25. ha i can never get over the fact that his name is mario. i asked him if he had a friend names luigi. he almost killed me.
anyway...
now that i am with my family i begin to remember why i took this gap year in the first place. i mean yes, i love them all very very much. but damnit sometimes they drive me a little crazy. i have gotten far too used to being on my own to spend such condensed periods of time with them so abrutly. i get to see aaron on tuesday though which is awesome. i haven't seen in almost 2 years...
my family in turkey is the same. my grandparents are beginning to get really old. i guess everytime i see them they look really old. but my grandmother barely stays awake for longer than a couple hours at a time, and can't move around without the help of somebody. they have a really sweet maid that takes good care of her, and talks to me in turkish as if i can understand. i laugh uncomfortably and smile, thats all i got. my grandfather is slowing down a bit, but his mind remains sharp. he is still witty and quick, and he manages on his own quite well. he really amazes me.
my uncle and aunt are still the fighting couple living a life of luxury that is questionably affordable to them. my aunt doesn't yell at my uncle so much anymore, but you can still hear her screams once in a while.
oh turkey.
we are leaving for bodrum tonight, thank god. in istanbul we get a little stuck in a static, but in bodrum its sheer beauty and relaxation + good food/wine for a week straight.

somehow i still miss israel.

my life got really uninteresting.

the website is written in japanese (maybe korean...)

2007-04-25T05:43:00.000-06:00

WOAH
Long time I know, but the internet here is pretty damn terrible, and it takes a good 30 minutes just to pull up this page so I avoid the whole encounter all together.
Everything here in Israel is pretty amazing. I've been hanging around the kibbutz pretty much the whole time except for one trip to Tel Aviv with Sharon (Australian volunteer.) Things are a little same same, but its so good that same same is good.
I don't really know what to write about to be honest. I always forget what I wrote about before. I feel redundant.
In Israel things are so different for people. In the US its just so normal. You go to highschool, university and then get a job. Here, when you finish highschool, you are required to do a minimum of 2 years in the army (3 if you're a guy), and then its tradition to travel. Everyone that I have talked to has such great stories. India, Thailand, Malaysia, Latin America...there is so much to see, so much to do. I don't get it why in the US we don't encourage that sort of thing more. I think that people need some time to think before deciding the direction of their life.

Okay so ya I really don't have that much to say.

older chests reveal themselves...

2007-03-18T14:21:00.000-06:00

So I will finally write now that I am in Israel. I have been near or on the internet for the past 2 weeks but have been too lazy to actually sit down and update this thing. For another thing, this kibbutz thing is keeping me pretty busy, and if not busy pretty damn tired.
So for those of you who don't know I am at the Kibbutz Ein Gev, on the Sea of Galilee also known as the Kineret. This is the Sea where Jesus himself walked on water. Its a beautiful place, surrounded by mountains and literally on the water.
Living on a Kibbutz is a really special thing. I really love it here. I sometimes wonder what it is exactly thats keeping me from picking up my life and just moving here. Learning Hebrew, and becoming a Kibbutzkik.
Then I remember that I want a little more out of life than working 6-7 days a week, 8 hours a day with 3 days off a month.
For these next 3 months though, I think its the best experience I could have chosen. Its giving me valuable experience in coexistence with minimal material wealth, and a work ethic like you wouldn't believe.
Everyday I get up at 7 am grab some breakfast, and head to work. I mop floors, polish silverware, move tables, set tables and rearrange napkins till 11. I get an hour for lunch and at noon I am back at the restaurant busing tables, rearranging food, breaking plates and making friends.
The waitresses/waiters not only have the most difficult job on the kibbutz, we also work the longest hours, but I actually love working there. We get to interact more with the kibbutzniks who some are themselves "senior" waiters and waitresses, and we also get free food which in turn gives us more spending money at the end of the month. I also really love to talk to customers. People rarely understand why I am here busting my ass, and I barely get it myself. But I guess it just feels right.
I really feel like I belong in Israel.
The other volunteers are an eclectic bunch, and only about 1/6 of us are actually Jewish. They are all really great people, and fun, but the relationships here aren't as deep as those I made in Ghana, for alot of reasons. Its a different place, they are different people, and its a different kind of pressure to exist here. I don't feel like I stick out here at all-actually most Israelis think I'm Israeli.
Oh, and I am going to learn Hebrew if its the last thing I do. What a beautiful language.
Anyway, I don't have that much to say...still flip flopping about the premed thing.

And we always seem to need the help
Of someone else to mend that shelf
Of too many books
Read me your favourite line

fights problems with bigger problems...

2007-03-01T08:41:00.000-07:00

So I leave for Israel tomorrow. And I have done a poor job at maintaining the blog while I've been home. I guess my life seems not so exciting in cold and snowy MN.
This time that I've been home has been good for me. I am exhausted from talking about Ghana all the time. I feel like I've created a monologue that I repeat everytime someone asks me about it. Its cool though because when I do talk about it, I feel like I am getting more in touch with the experience I had, and the impact it has made on my life and my character.
Being home is like...I just can't explain it. Its like when you're away, time doesn't touch this place. I always thought of Edina as a bubble (even though I don't even technically live in Edina anymore), but this is unbelievable. People change, but things just don't change. They remain constant until you are willing to deal with them, and I'm sorry to recognize the fact that lately I just don't feel like dealing with anything.
Its not that I feel like I have a better understanding of life and where I stand in it, because I am just as confused as the next college freshman, but coming back seeing all the old fights, flames and friendships carrying on without change, without progress without movement frustrates me. And I am in no way above all of it. Infact I consider myself to be in the middle of a lot of things I was convinced I left behind.
And it makes me ill.
I have also begun to understand the concept of actually having friends that are bound to you more than by just history alone. My frienship with Eli was so fufilling and so purposeful that I suddenly have this need to connect with friends that I have never had before. I know I have created a few friendships that are "forever" in my mind, but there are some that lack luster, understanding, vibrancy. They stood the test of time and are therefor forced to do it long after the friendship is withered. Its time that binds us, and I guess in the long run, its going to be time that releases us.
I am looking so much forward to getting on with this year, and removing myself again from this place which, I undoubtedly love, but just feel suffocated by. Its like you aren't allowed to grow because everyone and everything expects you to stay the same. Even if you were a pain in the ass *cough* they don't want change. They want comfortable.
My reference to "they" does not mean I leave myself out of these observations.
So we treat each other both admirably and terribly with comforting smiles and harsh words and expect the same results. The only problem is, is that I don't want to give the same results. I don't want to expect the same results. I want change, progress, movement. I have felt in myself change, progess and movement yet I am not encouraged to display it.
And I'm sure everyone feels suffocated. And we do it to ourselves.

This post may or may not be linked directly to the fact that I have been litsening to a ridiculous amount of Elliott Smith lately. Not exactly a bucket of sunshine.

Felt a wave, a rush of blood
You won't be happy 'til the bottle's broken
You're out swimming in the flood
You kept back, you kept unspoken

chasing cars...

2007-02-01T16:58:00.000-07:00

Okay so the word is out...I'm home.

I came home a bit early because of the sick thing, and also because of the discouraged spirit thing. I was starting to get so sick of Ghana I was beginning to forget why I loved it there, and I also knew that if I was sick of it when I left, I wouldn't hold onto the good things when I was home.
Now that I am home, its not so weird or hard. I'm not disgusted with western life. I feel...I feel normal. Like nothing changed. Except I live in Minneapolis, and all of my friends are at college.
It scares me a little, but it also makes me think that maybe, the changes that happened to me, are so a part of who I am, that its not some major reaction to a change in lifestyle. They just slide right in and apply themselves.
I hope thats it. I really hope thats it.
I am sick of this whole moving thing. Unpacking and repacking and not really feeling like you're at home. I feel weird cooking. And the channels on the tv are all f-ed so I have no idea how to watch Food Network.
I did get a chance to catch up on Grey's, which kept me busy for God knows how many hours. Also made me really happy, and lonely. I wish I could date a hot neuro surgeon.
Haha, like they actually exist in the world outside Seattle Grace Hospital.
I missed food. I didn't think I missed food the first couple days, but now I realize that I really missed food. Ice cream especially. And soup. Sushi too. Olives. Coffee...all of it.
I miss my friends from Ghana, but I don't really even feel like I was even there. Like the past 6 months of my life didn't exist. I'm getting scared I'm going through some creepy psychological deal, and I can't acknowledge it because I don't even know its happening.
I don't have a reference point.

holes to heaven...

2007-01-22T13:08:00.000-07:00

So this past week has had its ups and downs. I'll start with the ups, for optimistism's sake.
The work I did at Anidaso Fie was awesome. I got to work with around 15-20 women everyday, sometimes the same, and sometimes different depending on whether or not they chose to come to classe that day.
I was asked to help with the art classes they are now involved in to help them with batiking later on. The first couple days we worked on sketching and took nature walks to find inspiration. Then I taught them about basic drawing techniques, like breaking down larger shapes into smaller ones.
Let me just say, its very difficult to remember what its like to be 5, and in your first art class. Some of these women are older than I am, but when I ask them to draw two identical circles, they can't make replicas of the same shape. Or even simple things like drawing within the lines. They don't understand how to process visual information like that.
When we started painting it was so fun to help them out, and they were all so proud of what they were doing. The teacher just sat in the corner, randomly telling them instructions. She rarely taught them, just gave them things to do. To be able to guide these women, even in something as small as drawing was immensely fufilling. And just to realize how much your attention to their work means to them, made me feel purposeful.
The other couple days we focused on basic math, english and health issues. I was assigned the "highest form", the ladies that had the most education. They clearly were the ones who could understand my English the best, therefore made it alot easier to teach them. The "highest form" of these women 15-25 was the first grade.
We did math exercises consisting of addition, subtraction and basic multiplication. I started to teach them to divide, but we only got as far as drawing out a number of shapes and then dividing them with lines, and seeing the result.
This was also really difficult to remember how I was taught this kind of math. I was questioning whether I should have taught them double digit multiplication, or just moved straight onto division.
Some of these women are 25, and they are just learning how divide.
We then read a book "Willie isn't the Hugging Kind." A book written clearly for 5 year olds. We would read 10 pages at a time, and then I would write around 6-8 content questions on the board, like "Why did Willie's sister call him the not-hugging-kind?" Then they would take almost 30 minutes searching through the book for answers.
I am beginning to think that it would be of great value to publish a book for programs like this, which exist in most third world countries. A book that would be able to provide a low level of literacy, but with a content that would appeal much more to adults. As I spoke to the ladies about the book, they did the work I asked of them, but didn't appreciate that they were actually reading. Which is huge. I think it made them feel incompetent, and I don't blame them.
Its so interesting, and yet so scary, how the human mind needs so much attention to be able to function at its highest level. Even if these women went to school everyday, 8 hours a day, for the next 5 years they probably wouldn't know as much as I know as a 19 year old American.
I will write more about the project when I can really sit down and think about it. I haven't been able to because...
Ghana immigration is the most rude and difficult sum of human beings I have ever encountered in my life. Although the details of my situation with them are many and boring enough that I'll spare the dedicated readers of my blog the time, I will say I have never been treated with as much disrespect or carelessness to my situation in my entire life.
Its very frightening to realize you are in a country where you cannot trust the government, and if they want to, they can easily screw any plans of you leaving the country. Not to mention the fact that the organization which I paid to help me with these sort of things, if not just take care of them themselves is not being of much help...I'll also save the details of that for a later post.

Gotta run, more later.

Officials work while friendly
Once we drown them with our sweet talk
And we bribe them with our cigarettes and booze

Moving on...

2007-01-15T03:09:00.000-07:00

Let me start out by saying after 4 weeks of literally constant illness, I am recovered (hopefully.)
So Lisette and I left the clinic for good on Saturday. It was very sad, and I didn't realize how attached I was to everything there. Saying goodbye to Samuel, the Captain and Mary was really tough. Especially because here it isn't appropriate to really show emotion, so I had to"keep my cool" which we all know isn't my best trait.
Anyway, now I am in Accra, and I'm going to work at a practical training college for street girls, or street women considering the ages range from around 15-25. These are women who were either prostitutes, orphans etc...and at this school they learn things like hairdressing, sewing and cloth construction, cooking/baking, basic math, science and english so that hopefully, after they are finished, they can make money, take care of themselves, and lead a healthy lifestyle. They also provide access to birth control (whether it be oral, condoms etc...), HIV/AIDS education, and general counseling to the women. I am going to help with the batiking/tye-dye as well as cooking and basic instruction. I am also going to sit in on the birth control and HIV/AIDS discussions. I start work in a little under an hour, and I am really excited!
On a completely different note...
Lately the "being a volunteer" thing has been slightly eating away at my soul. Yesterday I was feeling slightly miserable and alone so I went to an upper class restaurant just to relax and get a good meal. So I spent around $10 on an enormous meal that left me probably 2 lbs heavier, but also happier. However, as soon as I left the restaurant I only had to walk 30 seconds to see extreme poverty. Then I just felt like throwing up.
Let me explain that, to most of you at home, I was surrounded by poverty where I was living, but in reality the town in which I lived had very little poverty. At first, you think the people walking around without shoes and torn clothes who are selling things in a little wooden shack by the side of the road is extreme poverty. In reality, those people are leading a relatively good life by African standards. They eat well and have the ability to work and earn a living, not a very large one, but nevertheless enough to sustain them and their families.
Extreme poverty, as I see it, is the people who have no home or family. Its those who have no hope of finding work. I almost feel better when people are begging for money, because in the worst cases, they have lost so much hope they are just waiting to die.
So what I'm getting at is the guilt that comes naturally to any human being that can afford to travel here for their own purposes. I came here as a volunteer in hopes of helping people etc...and I was under the impression that the feelings of guilt wouldn't be are strong, considering I was dedicating a half year of my life to improving the state of this country.
I guess whats important to remember that I could have given money to help relieve poverty, gone to NYU and started my life, but what I did, come here with the intention of helping in which ever way I could, was a much greater sacrifice.
I should get a move on so I'm not late for work.

the malaria got me

2007-01-08T05:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, negative on the mono.
Positive on the tonsilitis.
As well as the malaria.
Well that was a FUN three weeks. I have never wanted to come home since I've been here, but I was a heartbeat away from going to Accra this past weekend and just doing it. Glad I wasn't rash. Its nice to have a whole 4 more weeks to spend with the volunteers and the staff and just with Ghana.
New Years was alright here. We were at a really nice "deserted" beach (with a resort and bungalows.) New Years isn't exactly my favorite day of the year, so its, I guess, a little better that it didn't really feel like New Years, and just a night where we stayed up late. Oh also the meds for the tonsilitis made me sick even though I had a minimal amount to drink. Hoorah. Gotta love the undeserved hang over.
So then we came back to Kumasi. There was a really nice Holiday party at the clinic, and all the staff put their handprints on the NOW FINISHED malnutrition unit. Its too bad I woke up at 3 am the next morning with the malaria.
After my 4th round of throwing up I got a malaria test. Then they tried to give me an IV, but failed miserably and caused unnecessary pain in my veins. They finally gave me a shot to stop the vomiting so I could eat. I only threw up a litle more after that.
So I slept the rest of the weekend, and finished the entire Grapes of Wrath which is entirely too depressing to read when you're not feeling tip-top as it is...
Everyone came in fromKumasi last night and had dinner with us, which was good. When I start to forget why I love it here, they can easily remind me. Today Helene, Eli and I are shopping for last minute gifts and toher things we should have bought months ago.
I promise the next post will actually say something.

Thirsty in the rain...

2006-12-29T08:04:00.000-07:00

So I finally found a mono test in Ghana. Travelled for 6 hours to get to it, but nontheless, I still got the thing.
Results in 5 days...
So Ghana.
Anyway, my last post was completely skewed. I didn't even understand half of it when I reread it.My life hasn't become any more interesting since the last post occured so, sorry for the lack.
I told Ari my life was kinda boring right now, and he laughed "You're in Africa!" Let me just say for the record that Africa can be MORE boring than anywhere else in the world. The lifestyle is based upon waiting for things.
Anyway...The closer I get to leaving the more freaked out I get. For one thing, I freak out because I want so badly to go home. The things I miss! Food, clearly the most important, my family, my friends, a comfortable couch.In reality though, when I compare the affect of those "really great" things (excluding my family and friends) have on my life as opposed to Eli, Toon, Helene, Rikke, Lisette, Liane, Sara, the clinic, Ghana as a whole its not even close. In depth, in size, in anything.
And those are also things I am going to really leave behind. Who knows when I will be able to see them again. Home will always be there, eggs benedict will never dissapear, I can always go to Meg's or Triggs' or Steven's cabin. The things I will leave here sure, I can carry them around with me forever, but its never going to be there, or the same, again.
My life here is not easy. Things are so much more frustrating, they take longer, they aren't easily accessible, but you get used to it, and it teaches you to utilize what you have. Take the good, forget the bad, move on.
I never want to lose this, but I know I will.
Not to mention I am freaking out because when I come home I will be in this inbetween limbo stage that will last maybe a month, but then poof! I am in Israel.
So much for readjusting.
When I called my dad today I was telling him I am looking for a mono test, and he suddenly asks "Where is your passport?!?" and I said, "Dad, what the hell does that have to do with anything...I'm not going to come home!"
Trying to use every excuse to get me on that plane...

Hope everyone had a good Christmas.
Have a good New Year.

Just like that eagle, now my soul is flying
Over the valleys in the crimson morning sky
And there don’t seem to be no use in struggling so hard
And there don’t seem to be no reasons why

Oh my god, its a wild boar...

2006-12-22T08:46:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in almost 2 weeks so I should have something to write about, but I don't. So I'll just start where I left off...
After painting for another long, long week I took the weekend off to go to Cape Coast. Cape Coast isn't too interesting, a little too expensive because its a tourist place. I saw the castle there and all that. It was the administrative headquarters for the West African Slave Trade...Eli and I were talking about how after 10 years of these things you become numb to it.
Then Toon, Eli and I went to Accra to hang out, and we went to Osu, the Western area in Ghana. We went to a HUGE supermarket, and I didn't realize how much this trip has affected me. I was so exhausted by the time we got to the second floor. Just seeing all of the materialistic bullshit that exists in the world in such a small contained area made me almost feel nauseous.
Anyway, after returning back to Kumasi we went to the market which was unbelievably crazy. I have never felt so overwhelmed in my life, well maybe not. But people were grabbing and screaming and I was near passing out when I finally got to the trotro to Wiamoase. When I did get there my lymphnode was the size of a golf ball. Hoorah.
So for the past couple days I have been unbelievably tired, and trying to get a mono test, which doesn't exist in Africa. So I got a malaria test anyway because if you have a fever you should "always" get a malaria test.
So now I'm at Toon's place, which is really nice.
The other day I finally realized how little time I have left here, almost 6 weeks. I am so excited to go home, but when I think about leaving it makes me feel...really, really sad. When I think about leaving Mary, Samuel, everyone at the clinic, all the volunteers, Eli...especially Eli I start to feel really empty. I can't possibly imagine leaving. I suppose I couldn't imagine leaving home either, so I guess at the end of the day I will be okay.
Before I came I thought I wasn't good with change, but somehow I managed.
So I'll manage when I come home.

Eli says Happy Hannukah to A Nahum and J Holloway.

There, there...

2006-12-08T03:45:00.000-07:00

Holy hell, this internet is SLOW, which is especially frustrating because I actually have things to get done today in Kumasi. Unlike normally, when I can just diddle daddle till the end of time.
This week has been B-ORING. We did go to see monkeys last Saturday, and I went to a funeral on Sunday. Then the nurses diagnosed me with "malaria" and I stayed in bed for 2 days.
I think I just had a nasty fever, but the only diseases that exist in the clinic are malaria and "tiredness." Whatever that means.
I have painted an entire room all by myself this week, and I am so tired of painting that I want to scream. Its a good thing I am so disciplined or I would have thrown my roller at the stupid spider infested walls and called it quits. Only 2 more weeks of this and then I am through!
I am starting to get so home sick it actually makes me feel a little sick at times. When I look at pictures, and think about all the things I am missing out on I start to get nauseated.
But then I remember all the good I am doing, and try to put it in perspective.
I have to get to a police station today and file a police report for my missing passport which is just going to be a big pain in the ass, because it will take FOREVER, I am sure. Everythign takes forever here. You gotta get used to it. Okay now I just feel downright anxious because I have to much stuff to get done, so I am just gonna go start doing it.

Just cause you feel it doesn't mean its there.

back to my kalyppo and nescafe life...

2006-11-30T01:08:00.000-07:00

My parents left last night. Although it was hard to see them go, yet again, I know that in 10 weeks I will be walking out into the snow and ice of MN to see them again.
Change of plans.
British Airways wouldn't allow Eli to change her ticket from Ghana to Iceland, and United Airways wouldn't allow me to change mine. So I am coming home.
I am sad because I am seriously craving adventure, but I am relieved for a couple reasons.
1) I love Ghana, and all that, but seriously NO ONE GETS ANYTHING DONE HERE. Initiative doesn't exist, and it drives me absolutely nuts some of the time.
2) Volunteering without a degree is difficult. The programs that accept volunteers have enough problems as it is, trying to feed people, and keep people alive for example, and they lack the infrastructure to be able to find good work for unqualified volunteers. Not to mention this is AFRICA. This happens in the US, so its bound to be ten times worse here.
3) My mom almost had 10 anxiety attacks here, and I think it would be better for her health and sleeping habits if I came home for a bit.
4) I want to get some interviews in when I'm home for summer internships that Jean Holloway is going to pull some strings to get.
5) I miss snow :)
6) and Steven.
I just finished the last good breakfast I am going to get in a long while. I want to stay for a bit and swim in the pool etc...but I would almost rather just get my butt on a trotro home so I can wash my clothes and sleep in my own bed. Somehow I miss my little house, with no running water and enormous spiders.
I should get a move on though, I have a 5 hour trotro ride ahead of me.

its just a fond farewell to a friend...

2006-11-23T09:06:00.000-07:00

Let me be superficial for 45 seconds (out of 9 months ok??)
My mom brought Itunes for me to stock up my Ipod as part of my birthday present. THEY HAVE GREY'S ANATOMY. I bought the second season. ONE EPISODE TAKES 30 HOURS TO DOWNLOAD. I feel like crying.
And then I tried to download pictures of my life in Ghana. Thats not working either.
Okay enough of the bull for a while.
Anyway, its very bizarre to have my parents here. I feel like too much of a tourist. It is much easier to be a volunteer in this country then a tourist. When I'm with my parents I feel like I am exploiting this country. When I'm a volunteer I get paid minimum wage, and work for relatively nothing just to better it.
So I am enjoying the week with them, but its putting me in a bizarre limbo. For one thing, I am starting to miss home because I have part of it here with me. Also, I am beginning to realize how much I have seriously changed and how difficult its going to be when I get back.
Not to mention I am so cynical. Its unbelievable. I should work on that.
Anyway, we went to the Elmina Castle today, a slave trade castle that stands as a testimony to the disgraces of humankind. It was very interesting, but very predictable. The tourists sites in Ghana are lacking, but its not like I was expecting too much.
I am getting in the weirdest mood with my parents around. I feel much more comfortable travelling on my own and with my volunteer friends because I have probably become accustomed to that. It feels alot different to move around with my parents. I have to explain things, and tell my dad to stop taking pictures. When I'm by myself I know where to go, and don't care that I am travelling on disgusting public transportation (not to mention fatal...) I can just go around as I please. My parents are too old to sit in a trotro for 7 hours.
I would kill to know what Meredith Grey is up to right now.
Well maybe not kill, but I would sure as hell wait 3o hours to find out if I could :)
I think I am finally going to figure out my travel time this week! Its so exciting to know that I am going to get to travel the whole rest of the spring. Its a waste to go home. I took a year off of the one thing I have wanted my whole life, so I might as well actually live the life during these 9 months.
And I think I am going to stick with pre-med. My top two now that I have thoroughly sucked my dad of info: Infectious Diseases (Includes AIDS/HIV) or Women's Health (the latter especially in Muslim countries, where women aren't allowed to be examined by male doctors, the only that exist.) These two would give me the most varied, interesting and valuable experience in travel medicine. Not to mention the fact that I can do my residency in a third world country (my dad just happens to know the head of the international medical program at the U of M.)
In other words I wouldn't have to wait 12 years to help people.
hoorah

good and evil matched perfect it's a great romance
i can deal with some physic pain
if it'll slow down my higher brain

well i'm 19

2006-11-21T06:32:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd write a quick blog about the huge transformation that just occured within myself. I'm 19. Again, I had to remind both of my parents about it.
Screw it, I'm going to eat cake tonight.
Love and miss everyone and seriously 30 people asked me for my address so here it is, yet again:
Rebecca Holloway-Nahum
The Salvation Army Clinic
PO Box 14
Wiamoase, Ashanti Region, Ghana W. Africa

My parents can't deal with Africa, so I gotta run.
Hugs from a very happy 19 year old.

brush the cobwebs of the sky

2006-11-20T04:34:00.000-07:00

I am now sitting in Osu, the most westernized part of Accra in the most unbelievably fast internet cafe I have ever been to. I bought an hour but I will probably only need 20 minutes because it moves so quickly. I feel so out of place.
As part of my birthday present my parents allowed me to stay in the nice hotel they rented for all of use a night by myself. Highlights:
Hot bath
Breakfast Buffet
TV
Not to be too graphic, but first I took a shower and scrubbed the hell out of myself, then I took a bath. I still somehow managed to be so dirty that I left a dirt ring around the tub. I haven't felt clean in 3 months. Now I do.
This morning I got to eat eggs, bacon, CEREAL, REAL COFFEE, I went up to the line at least six times, and everyone stared at me. There was a feminist conference there, and I told them I was a volunteer, and they all laughed and said they could tell. I seem deprived.
I watched The 40 Year Old Virgin. So happy.
I have the volunteer bug still. I thought that once I got here I would just think of things in dollars, but I just can't. They charged $12/hour at the ICafe at the hotel so I walked the hour, instead of taking the $4 taxi to this ICafe which costs $1/hour (and its considered expensive :))
I'm probably going to have a hard time with money with my parents because they won't think any of this is expensive, but I freak out spending more than 50 cents. I am going to eat fast food all day to make up for the dinner I had last night which was $7.
I hadn't slept for 3 days before this. We spent Thursday and Friday with the Dutch guys, and then the volunteers had a birthday dinner/party for myself, Liane and Caro on Saturday. Its been like a 3 day party. We went to the best Indian Restaurant I have ever been to. And I am pretty sure I'm not just saying that because I haven't had real food in 3 months. I think it was just that good.
I am SO EXCITED to see my parents. Every time I think they are coming in 8 hours I get this really happy feeling. Its awesome because I'm definately not ready to go home yet, I can't imagine that for months, but I am ready to see them because I really have missed them alot.
So I'll blog maybe within the next, but probably not until I get back to my real life which isn't till next Wednesday.
Miss everyone. Have a good Thanksgiving, and I give everyone permission to eat more to make up for the fact that I won't get to eat any traditional Thanksgiving meal (especially the pumpkin pie.)

and how much did it cost
I was dropped from
the moonbeam
and sailed on shooting stars

progress takes away what forever took to find

2006-11-16T13:27:00.000-07:00

for one thing i am totally beat. i painted for 8 hours today and everything hurts ah.
i find it funny that i accomplised as much in one day as my roommate did in 9 days while i was gone.
just a bizarre thought...
i am glad to be back home in wia, but now i am in kumasi meeting eli to go out with david (the med student from a september post) and his friends. sorry for the lack of caps, this keyboard is really difficult to type on. not to mention it took me 9 minutes to upload a website. glorious.
anyway, i have been keeping myself busy the past couple days. my parents come in 4 days, which is awfully weird. i still feel like its months until they come. i think a nice western trip with them will be good for me. i am wearing a little thin with the pleasant facade i keep on regularly here. usually after saying 2 words everyone thinks you're best friends. its actually because i'm white.
i thought the white thing would wear off after 3 months, especially in wia because its a small town, and they see me everyday. but no, i am still followed and yelled after as if it were day one. i told laura once that all the kids come running after you yelling "obruni" and she said "oh, thats so cute." and then i threw up in my mouth a little. i asked eli where she thinks the kids get this from, the obvious answer...their parents, who behave in the same way.
anyway, i don't have that much to say because i've just been doing the same old to past 3 days. i'll write when i have something interesting to say.

the dreaming tree has died

don't be fooled by the rocks that i got

2006-11-11T12:31:00.000-07:00

Okay so now I am in Tamale, the Upper Western Region's capital. Quite the bustling city, with alot of bikes with reckless riders that more or less make me anxious. Ho hum.
So we have been on the go since I last wrote on Wednesday. In Wa, we saw the excuse for a palace, which we weren't allowed into because of "reconstruction." Then we went to Wechiau and stayed over night in the most empty town I have seen. We had a nice 5 km bike ride, and saw the head of 2 hippos. One of which, they know to be extremely aggresive. I named him Harry the Angry Hippo. I'm so clever.
The next day we went to Tumu and stayed in another barren guesthouse, then got up at 5 to catch the early morning trotro to Navrango, but ended up waiting until 2:30 to finally get on it and go. The road was not paved until 10 minutes outside of the city, and obviously there was no AC in the trotro, so by the time we got out we looked oranged because we were so covered with dust. Not to mention in sat in our lungs and now we both feel ill. So typical.
At first we really enjoyed Navrango. We stayed in a nice guest house with running water and electricity, but then the next morning, all before 10 am, we were frenagled for money 5 or 6 times. When we finally got to Paga after literally running for our lives from some crazy old man who was running after us with a stick, and from a young girl who snuck into the guest house's restaurant to sit with us and ask for numerous things, we paid a ridiculously high price to see one crocodile and walk around hud huts for 10 minutes. Not to mention 2 men followed us all around town and then claimed to have been guides, and of course asked us for money.
I have to say though, that this trip has been quite a success regarless of the dust, and constant on the go attitude. I have enjoyed getting out of Ashanti, and also hanging out with Eli. Shes even thinking about travelling with me when I make my way up to Israel which would be so awesome.
Of course, the title of this post is dedicated to her amazing ability to put feeling into Jlo's sound and meaningful music.
Anyway....
Luther's dad sent me an awesome email to guide me in trying to figure out some more service work I can do in Ghana, and also (hopefully) in Morocco and Egypt. Thanks Ralph! I really want to work in a non-private organization, and I would LOVE to live with a family, even though it would be difficult to arrange that on my own.
And after my ICYE turmoil, I think I am done with the disaster they call volunteer programs.
My feelings about how much I can actually change here sometimes get really bad. I get so frustrated because Africa is not at all, in anyway, meant to be a comsopolitan based, western society. Nothing from the environment, to the geographical placement, to the attitude and state of mind of its citizens is conductive to it.
The transportation system and road ways are terrible, no one could ever be on time, because it doesn't exist. The climate and environment is not encouraging to create and build proper buildings, roads, electricity etc... Not to mention everyone who has any brain at all wants to get the hell out of here. They are all convinced that turmoil only exists in Africa. I told someone once that there is poverty in the US, and he didn't believe me.
Most people here are determined to make sure I am aware of the suffering that takes place in Ghana, as if its some big secret. I often wonder why they think I came here at all...clearly it was to get rich and exploit the poor...
If the West would have just left Africa alone it wouldn't be in the constant phase of catch-up that will last forever at the rate its going at now. It will never posses half of what western society posseses, and even though in my eyes not only is it OK, but better, everyone hates the idea of it.
Its hard to work somewhere, trying to change something, do something good, when no one who belongs to it actually has any faith or pride in it. They would much rather change places with me.
If Africa's people don't love Africa how in the hell am I supposed to love it?
I don't mean to be a debbie downer, but for the first time I actually saw some genuine African villages on our long trotro rides, and it WORKS here. The mud huts and the straw mats, and the beautiful tribal braiding, and the somewhat ridiculous religious practices, and the basic food, its meant for this place.
In small, real villages money doesn't matter so poverty doesn't exist. Starvation isn't an issue, prostitution isn't a thought, orphans are taken care of...
If I could have changed anything in the course of the world, I would have build a huge fence around this beautiful continent and not allowed the arrogant White Man to come in and change the way of the life that is functional for this place.
Western society's history is an embarressment.

I do get frustrated and down alot when I allow myself to sit inside those thoughts, but I also try to keep my heart in the right place. I am here. I care. If I can do something so insignificantly small, but still positive than so can the 6 billion other people in the world. 6 billion insignificantly small, yet positive things could add up to some pretty damn significant positive things.

The small villages also remind me that some people here must have faith in their country and their culture to resist the push of Western society upon their traditions. Its really quite an inspiration, and makes me extremely happy.

I am so excited to see my parents. If this trip has done anything, it has given me a ridiculous appreciation of them. I have never had to stifle my own dreams. They really allow me to make my way in the world as I see fit. And as I see it, its the only way to make your way anywhere.

Okay I'm off to look for guides on West Africa for my travels. I might not be able to post for a while because the week I get back will be quite busy.

Missing everyone.

i'm still jenny from the block
used to have a little, now i have alot
wherever i go i still know where i came from
:)

someone, please god give that baby a tit

2006-11-08T02:57:00.000-07:00

Okay, so right now I am in Wa, the upper western capital of Ghana. For the past 3 days Eli and I have been back packing our way up and around Ghana, and will hopefully be back in Kumasi, in one peice, by Monday.
On Sunday we went to the "Tano Sacred Grove" (grove-/gro'v/[grohv]–noun 1. a small wood or forested area, usually with no undergrowth: a grove of pines.) and our tour guide spoke in extremely broken English very slowly, repeating everything he said 4 times. It was very pretty and a really nice walk. According to him the first people in Ghana were guided by a woman possesed by a spirit to a god in a brass bowl hiding under a rock. Interesting...
at least we laughed about it.
The next day we were to the Buoyem bat caves and hiked 18 km (around 13 miles) to get there, visiting various "rock formations" along the way. Also a nice hike, although I was sort of crabby pants because I was wearing $5 hiking sandals that weren't too good on my toes. Oh well, Eli is always trying to keep me upbeat so I survived :)
However, I am beginning to think that there isn't that much to see in Ghana...
It reminds me of when we were at the national museum in Accra. We had just walked around the entire museum, but as always Eli was slowly lagging behind, having only seen the first floor out of two, and the following conversation occured:
Eli: Is there anything interesting on the second floor?
Rebi: Is there anything interesting on the first floor?
Hehe...
Anyway, to get here to Wa we at first waited in Wenchi, a terrible little hot sweaty village with a terrible guest house, for EIGHT HOURS, then we got on a trotro that would not stop breaking down at 3 pm and didn't get to Wa until 1:30 am. We finally got to some random Numbu guest house with a paper thin mattress which you could feel the boards through, and conspicuously disgusting things sitting in the toilet...
I guess thats what you get for $3 a night though.
But today we started out the day right with a good breakfast of eggs, and some cute little old african man drove us to the icafe on his motorbike. Yay!
Later today we are going to see some "interesting" sights around Wa, then go to the Wechiau Hippo Sanctuary, which was actually rated by the UK as one of the top 3 sanctuaries in the world, so maybe there is something interesting on the second floor...
After Thursday we are going to the crocodile sanctuary, Paga, on the border of Burkina and Ghana, then to Bolgatanga to see a "witches" camp, for women who have been accused of witch craft and exiled from their villages. Then we will finally get to Tamale by Sunday, and hopefully get an STC (the most normal type of bus in Ghana) back to Kumasi.
If and when these things actually get done, I will blog about them.
I will impulsively write this, even though I have kept it from everyone but Steven, I chopped my dreads, like 2 months ago, because they were so hot and uncomfortable. So now I look like a boy. A short boy with a girly figure...ya not so much because of the 3 times/day carbs I intakes regularly.
Oh, and the title of this post is dedicated to the baby in the 10 hour trotro ride that would cry and cry until it was fed.
I miss everyone, and can't wait until my parents come for my birthday! I can't believe I'm going to be 19 in a couple days. I grew up so fast :)
Girls, keep your emails coming, I miss you sooo much.
Hugs all around.

It took 20 minutes to get to the posting page...

2006-11-03T02:12:00.000-07:00

So I'll begin this blog with a story that I am gratefully borrowing from Eli.
So the International Community School (the wealthiest school in the Ashanti region), there is a variety of ethnicities among the students. During the discussion of What Would Jesus Do, WWJD, the teacher called up 4 Ghanians and 1 Indian student to the front of the class. Then she chose another Indian girl and asked her "If you were on a deserted island and had one bottle of water, who would you share it with?" The girl obviously chose the other Indian boy because more than likely they were friends, and their families were friends etc...But then the teacher asked all the students watching this demonstration why she chose this particular boy. The students then all began to yell "Because he is white!" "He is white!" etc...The teacher clapped her hands together and responded, "Yes kids, because he is white." These kids were 6 or 7 years old, and this is one of the most highly paid teachers in Ghana...
Ya.
Anyway, I have been in Kumasi since Wednesday, and I am ready to get home! I am tired and I need a bucket and sponge shower soon. We are stopping by the orphanage on the way home to give Reverend Kofi the money, and make detailed plans as to when everything should be completed.
Eli has come into contact with a woman who works at the main brothels in Kumasi, giving presentations on AIDS awareness and other STDs, and I might be able to work with her if I talk to her soon enough, and find a way to get some time off during the week so I can get myself into Kumasi.
I also found a project up north in Nkronza that is really great, Operation Hand in Hand. Its an orphanage for disabled children. However, its not the typical orphanage. The children live in little houses in pairs or in threes with 2 parental figures, so they are basically simulating a type of family life, which I think is a really positive way to raise the children. Also they provide education, phy ed, and many other activities so that the kids actually have something to do, instead of wandering around the town, and maybe getting themselves into trouble. I am still waiting to hear back from the director to see if its okay if I can only come for 3 weeks. Hopefully everything will work out.
I am also starting to debate whether or not when I'm in Morocco and Egypt if I should only travel for 1 week in each country, and use the remaining time to do more service work. Thats why I took this year off, and its something I want to do the rest of my life, so I might as well get as much experience as possible now :)
Okay everyone I am FINALLY going to pick up my package my parents sent me a month ago. Hoorah! I truly love and miss everyone and love hearing from you. Especially Steven, because he appreciates the sound of my voice :)

I believe its love thats hiding there
in the shadows, in the darkness

With my own two hands...

2006-10-30T04:19:00.000-07:00

We just got back from the central market, and even though we only went through 1/10 of it, it took a couple hours. I swear if you look hard enough the market has everything. The supermarket seems so unnecessary now.
This week has been quite the boring one. We have finished a third room, the beach room, so thats exciting. Now we are going to buy clear gloss to make sure our 100 hours of work doesn't get completely trashed, because even though its only been up for a month, its getting ruined fast. So maybe if it would last until I left...haha hopefully.
We threw a Halloween party at our house this weekend which was fun. We all dressed up, and hung out, drank an awesome bop. It was pretty standard, nothing too crazy.
We are going to finally get to the orphanage this week to begin the building of the room for the handicapped girl. So I am excited to get started with something new.
Also Eli and I are most likely going to go up North for 9 days this Friday once she finally gets it together (I am hoping you read this :))
On a really awesome and exciting note, I am beginning to think that my travel time around Africa might be extended. Meaning that I could travel up North through maybe Morocco and Egypt and then go straight to Israel. I don't see the point in coming home for a month and then leaving again right away. We'll see how A. Nahum takes it, but I am crossing my fingers because that would be so cool.
I don't have all that much to say because my last post was so draining. Keep the emails and the love coming, I appreciate it alot when I start feeling homesick.

But you got to use
use your own two hands

One Sweet World...

2006-10-26T03:41:00.000-06:00

October 23rd, 2006
I am the worst blogger known to man kid. Sorry about that kids, but tough luck, I've got better things to do. Too bad I forgot the last time I blogged so I will just write whatever I feel like.
We went to a Kente Cloth (the traditional weaving of silk string into quilts etc...) village, Bonwire, last weekend and it was cool, except for the fact that we were seriously harassed by locals. I have never been rude here, but I started to that weekend. This whole obruni thing is really starting to get to me, I seriously am just getting to the point where I ignore people who try to talk to me on the street. Not the most conductive way to make friends I suppose, but what can ya do?
Anyway, more importantly we went to the Volta Region this whole past week and it was really cool. The west part of Ghana is pretty dry, and I live close to a big city so its decently "developed." Ho (the city which we went to) was crazy green and beautiful. It was Sanna's birthday so we went out to a restaurant and had a nice evening.
The next day we went up North a little further to Leklabi and saw the Afalo water fall. According to Toon, waterfalls are classified into A,B, and C categories according to the development of their trails and accessibility. A being the easiest and C being the most difficult. Funny that this was a C waterfall and because my Chacos were stolen by a dog is Wia, I only had my flip flops.
So I went barefoot.
Ha! What a terrible idea that was. Even though the hike half ruined the waterfall (also the fact that the feeling that it was my personal doomsday (haha Eli)) it was really beautiful. The next day we went to Wli waterfall, the biggest in West Africa and it was amazing. Even though you couldn't swim because it was so powerful it hurt, and Eli's camera was stolen by a Gollum look alike who was eating a snake w/ its head chopped off that he had caught, it was still a worthwhile trip (our tour guide found the camera too:))
So we got back today after a 7 hour trotro ride, which couldn't even compare to the 207 ride we had on the way down.
I have been feeling a bit homesick lately which I am actually happy about. I actually thought I would never want to go back, but now when I think about things I am rarely scrutinizing anything. I just miss it. And I just feel positive when I reflect back on what I, at one point, wasn't sure if I wanted anything to do with anymore. I'm not going to be stupid enough to let my feeling about home ruin this trip.
My longing for eggs benedict might though.
As I read about everyone's lives back at home, I can just feel the distance between me and them growing with every minute I am here. It worries me because I remember Mike once said "I am so excited because when we come home we will all be so close, nothing will matter." I am scared I am going to change so much that I won't even be able to relate to anyone anymore.
My daily stresses can't even relate to homework or papers or relationships. Not to say I'm being challenged more, but just in a different way. Which means I am growing in a different way.
I can feel that I'm different. I've never been aware of such a strong change within myself.
Also, I can feel myself restless with the idea of medschool for 15 YEARS. Eli and I talk about it all the time. I am beginning to get the feeling that I would be so much better in an administrative and political position in international affairs. I want so badly to touch people and help where its needed, but I'm starting to think that while I'm off at school basically throwing money at the universities, I could be travelling and doing more.
Travelling. Thats all I want now. I just want to see as much as the world as I can, and absorb it. I always knew there was more to life then MN, but I have never felt so compelled to find it as now. Okay I'll leave this for now. Love and miss everyone.

Living is easy with eyes closed...

2006-10-13T08:06:00.000-06:00

Litsening to the Beatles a little too much. Is that even possible? Ya, I don't think so. So we finally got to an I Cafe because we have been working like crazy this week! We have finished completely the "sea room" and the mural is awesome! I have learned to never attempt painting a jelly fish again (I don't know where that would come up in the future...) and also to never paint a whole wall red. The "snow room" which we are currently painting is red, and has a mural of an igloo and an eskimo and people sledding and a snowman, who I named Kurt because he was annoying and not "working with me" so I figured if I named him after my favorite author he would be a little easier :0) Other than though is looks absolutely awesome, and I am in the best mood after I paint (even though I am a different color and completely covered in sweat...ew) because I can see my work coming to an end result. Its so positive.
I finised East of Eden and started Of Human Bondage. Steinbeck is ridiculous and I am so glad that Toon has access to a library where I can get more! East of Eden is now up to the Slaughterhouse Five level, and I mean the same level and thats huge. I read a ridiculous amount here. I brought 9 challenging books and have read 5 of them. I'm probably going to have to get more :)
We just got back from the orphanage in Boadi and decided a way to build extra rooms for them so that the disabled children who come there will have a place to stay. It was so nice to spend some time there. The children are SO needy, I have never seen kids so deprived of attention in my life. One girl kept wrapping her arms and legs around me when I already had my hands full with other kids. I fell in love with Elsa, a beautiful little girl who was so pleasant and friendly. I am so excited to work there, and I am hoping to take a few weekends off around Christmas and spend it there with the kids.
The owner is such a cool guy. He started the orphanage in his own house 10 years ago with 6 kids. It now has somewhere around 150 kids, and is constantly trying to expand to be able to have room for more. They provide medical care, and schooling up to secondary school, when they send them to another school in town. He is a really spiritual guy, and is so thankful for anything or anyone who wants to help. So yay, I feel really happy about the opportunity to help him :)
I am feeling really weird lately because I really need some alone time, but I never get it. I can't think properly with everyone around all the time. Everyone from home knows that I am really needy of alone time. I will build myself a little fort outside in our rainforest backyard and the problem will be solved. As long as I keep it a secret from my roommate so she doesn't come out and talk and talk and talk...haha right...
Well we need to go buy some paint and I should probably eat because I haven't all day. Keep the emails coming, except from my girls STOP WRITING EMAILS, it takes me like 2 hours to get through a weeks worth :)
Love and miss everyone

Cutest damn baby you'll ever see...

2006-10-05T10:28:00.000-06:00

Just trying to upload a picture.

Oh and I think Slaughter House Five now has competition in my mind...East of Eden is sheer brilliance. I bought a dictionary so I can actually read my Proust and Cervantes now. yay!

Other than that I updated a couple days ago so I don't have much to say...we are going to visit the school we are teaching at on Mondays and Fridays tomorrow. I am going to teach English. math and maybe science, my boss seemed determined to get me to teach science...maybe the whole med student thing :)

looks like the picture isn't working :( oh well...maybe next time

RASTAFARA....

2006-10-02T05:50:00.000-06:00

That title is for the benefit of Eli and only Eli :) Get a life and stop reading my blog.
Anyway...its been a while since I've been able to blog so I actually have a couple things to say! For one thing, we finished painting the blue room so that is awesome, we are going to start painting the mural tomorrow.
Okay so we went to Accra this past weekend, and good lord it was a long trip. It took us like 9 hours to get there, and then we found some random hotel and had candles cause the electricity was out and we all passed out. The next day Liane had a malaria relapse so we had to take her to the hospital. It was a complete disaster because the lab was so slow so she had to find a bed and wait for the results.
We ended up letting her rest and going to see the "National Museum" which was really small, and to be honest kind of pathetic. The exhibit at the Met is larger, and more interesting. Not to mention the fact that foreigners are charged more to enter. Boohiss.
After another 3 trotro rides we some how got to Kokrobite, the most awesome hippie paradise I have ever seen. We stayed in an open air loft (w/ mosquito nets, of course) and drank beer on the beach all night while litsening to live raggae...it was so awesome. "Rastafara" comes from the fact that most of the locals speak no english but somehow always manage to say "rastafara..." over and over.
They had an awesome fast food place in the village (fast food being rice and stew with maybe chicken or fish) so I had rice 4 times within 24 hours...still not sick of it yet. Its so good! They also sold some awesome patchwork clothes and jewelery, so for the first time I actually bought something other than food or stuff for the house.
I met a guy, David, 23 from Amsterdam, and he was really cool. He was a med student and was working in the North to get medical care to the small suburbs (villages, suburbs don't exist here.) It was so funny for one thing, because talking to him reminded me of me when I first came here (he had only been here for like 3 days), and I was giving him all these pointers. I felt like such a Ghana expert. And then I was telling him about all my plans for the future and he said I was the most forward thinking person he had ever met...thats new! haha no... We talked on the beach for a couple hours after the raggae show, and I tried to get him my email but he had disspeared. I left it with the reception. I'm never gonna talk to him again...haha.
Anyway we somehow got back to Kumasi and we stayed the night at Eli's because it was too late to get a trotro to Wiamoase. So now I am sticky and gross and probably smell and should be starving because its Yom Kippur but I am too lazy to keep it.
I'm trying to keep up with emails, but somehow its just too much work. It doesn't mean I love anyone any less, I am just bad with time management at the internet cafes.
Love and miss everyone.

my hands hurt

2006-09-26T08:30:00.000-06:00

First of all I would like to say thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has been emailing, mailing, "facebooking" and texting me. It makes me so happy to hear from everyone, and it makes me feel like I'm not that far away! I have alot of wall space so if anyone wants to mail me pictures, drawings, letters whatever I would love it! My address is as follows:
Rebecca Holloway-Nahum (You have to use Rebecca because I don't use Rebi here)
The Salvation Army Clinic
PO Box 14
Wiamoase, Ghana West Africa

Okay, now that I said that I can move on with this blog. So...the last time I updated I don't even remember what I was doing. Things tend to blur together here, so I will just say and do what I can. First of all, Eli and I tried to go see a movie on Wednesday last week and it was a really hilarious experience. For one thing, they told us the movie theater was "really close" to Kejetia, but in reality was like a 30 minute walk. So when we finally get there they are showing one movie "Action Warriors" haha...then these two guys tried to convince us to get come with them to another movie theater. "Come in our car..." then they got pissed when we wouldn't "We are just trying to help, and you are afraid of us..." What I don't understand is, can't they put themselves in our position? If I had gone with every man who has told me to I would have been dead by now. Anyway, we decided to skip the movie so we drank fanta and ate peanuts at her place...hoorah.
So this weekend Rikke, Eli and Liane came to Wiamoase and we had a nice obruni night. We tried to make cocktails but we all ate too much to be able to drink anything...so typical.
So Eli and I went for the "nature walk" behind our house (its seriously like a hike through the rainforest...ya my back yard kicks ass.) She asked me, "What are you happiest about here?"
So I thought about it, and I decided that I am happiest about the idea of me being me, and it being appreciated and valued the way I originally intended it to be. Seriously, I think I spent the last 2 years of my highschool life trying to prove that at least I meant well. Here, my word is just enough. My actions are just enough. Me as a person, is enough.
Yesterday, we started painting the malnutrition unit. And of course, because this is Ghana, it can't be like normal painting. No, no, no this is an adventure.
First of all I have to duel it out with the spiders that have claimed the room as theirs. Like I am seriously surprised that they don't pick up their shoe to crush me. Then we have to 'broom' the walls (dusting is obviously unheard of here.) Then we have to open the paint, which in itself requires my teeth, my feet and a plyer (sp?) So then we are ready to paint. And its great because we have paint rollers, but you know the plastic thing you roll it in to get paint on it? Ya, they don't sell those here, so we have to flip over a little table and use that instead. So we paint. The walls are so porous though, its impossible to just paint them...you have to a little "ramming the paint into every little damn hole on the wall" kind of thing. On top of it all, these rooms have no fans (AC isn't even considered an option) SO whether its 70 degrees or 99 (which is ENTIRELY possible) we paint.
So thats painting in Ghana.
But let me say, that beyond the problems and blisters and the fact that I feel like I get more paint on myself then the walls its really an awesome thing to be doing. I can actually see and feel the work I am doing for others. Like when I am covered in blue, I am covered in blue for a damn good reason. And when I can't walk in the morning cause my back hurts so much, I feel like that has a purpose.
So I get to work in the clinic tomorrow because I painted by myself today, so that will be nice because my blisters opened on my thumb and they are all blue and the paint stings them. The next day we are going to go to Boadi with Samuel to have him give us an estimate to build a new room for the orphanage. Then we are hoping a trotro for 6 hours to Accra (the capital) to spend the weekend being tourists. We might even get to go camping on the beach :) Plus everyone will get to be together again. ICYE kids are the best. Okay I always forget what I want to write, but hopefully everyone will get enough out of this entry (especially you, Mom.)
Love and miss everyone :)

I actually feel accomplised...

2006-09-18T08:45:00.000-06:00

So, I have been busy for the first time in like a month. We have begun to get our stay here figured out, which is the biggest not only relief, but it gives me so much to look forward to.
So to start where I left off Thursday was the same old. Meaning that the pregnant women came in, and we took their blood pressure and weight and gave them vitamins. So that wasn't all that productive, but meh.
Anyway Friday we went into Kumasi with Samwell and we bought fabric and stuff for our uniforms (they are light blue and really funny, most of you will laugh when you see them.) Samwell, who is like our stand in dad, is actually a contractor in his "spare time"-his real job consists of being an optetrician, and then giving speeches about AIDS and sex ed on campuses around the country. Yes, he is awesome and I love him. So we talked to him about our plan to build a room for the mentally handicapped girl we met in Boadasi (thats where the orientation camp is), and he offered to come scope the place out for us and get people to help us build it...ya I can't believe how lucky we are. I love Samwell.
Anyway, afterwards we went to a going away party for a nurse "Auntie Edna" who is moving to the Central Region with her husband, a priest who is being relocated. It was a really interesting time because they all dressed in traditional African dress, and sang and danced around. We were so awkward, in our Western dress and not to mention the fact that we are white...ya that whole thing.
Anyway, we went to the lake (Bosumtwe) Saturday morning which was a blast. Sanna and Stine, who are 10 hours away in Ho, even came with us. We rented out these bamboo huts right next to the water and got canoes (local canoes, which are planks of wood that are thicker in the middle and thin on the ends...) The whole town got a kick out of the 8 obrunis slipping and slidding and falling off these canoes. We then took a hike to a restaurant like 45 minutes away. The food was expensive and not the greatest, but it was worth it because on the way home we couldn't get a taxi and it was super dark so I broke off a branch, wrapped my underwear around the top and the doused it in oil. Everyone laughed at me except for Stine, but I got the last laugh because it kicked ass, and worked so we had light for a majority of the trip home. Too bad when it went out I fell onto some rocks and scraped up my leg. The next morning I woke up and saw all this dirt and fibers of my pants in it, so then I was smart and took a dirty pair of tweezers and got it out...I am lucky I don't have gangreene. Other than that though, it rocked not only because it was a cool place but because I got to prove my Mcgiver (sp?) qualities.
We came back to Kejetia on Sunday (in Kumasi) and Helene and I tried to find an internet cafe, too bad God hyjacks Ghana on Sundays. I was lucky to get a grilled plantane. Oh and by the way, those of you who don't eat plantanes ona regular basis are missing out. COCONUTS TOO. They sell them on the street and they hack them open for you with a machete so you can drink it, then they hack it open so you can eat the meat. Its awesome. According to Elisabet they are also "vitamin bombs" which is something I need because our cuisine is like rice, spaghetti, plantanes, kenkey, rice, rice, spaghetti, plantanes...I think you get the idea.
Today, which is Monday, we washed our clothes. Every cut I get on my hands never heels because we wash everthing by hand and it just rips them open. Not to mention the fact that I burn myself like every day when I'm cooking because the gas stove will not chill out, and the flame is enormous. However, its really not that bad and in college it will save me trips to the laundromat and money, so in the end I am winning.
Its awesome because in Ghana, at the end ofthe day, I can always figure out the way the glass is half full. Eli and I have extensive talks about this all the time. I find myself saying when there is a problem, "Okay, how can I solve this?" and if I can't, I just move forward. There is no one and nothing to hold me back here, and I am trying to stop doing it to myself.
Eli is fucking awesome. I am so lucky to have met her. We honestly just clicked so quickly. We talk about everything, and its so good to have her to go to if something goes wrote. Hopefully, we are going to travel to the North together for like a week, and she is probably gonna come along with me during my travelling weeks (2) at the end of my stay.
So after we washed clothes, we went to buy paint for the malnutrition clinic. It only cost like $5 a can, which means we can paint an entire room for somewhere around $30. And we thought we would be spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars on this...its awesome because it gives us more leeway to be able to do more.
We found the soccer field in our town, and I am hoping to vamp it up. Level out the ground, make actual nets, build bleachers and a score board, and some real soccer balls.
Nothing like some manual labor!
Okay I think I have said enough for the day, and this keyboard is making my finger hurt.

I just bought a fake engagement ring for 30 cents...

2006-09-13T10:25:00.000-06:00

It was in the Kejetis market and I almost got fish guts spilled all over me, so it was worth it. Too bad the first person I have met here (well, kinda) I would actually want to give my number to met me right after I put it on. Then bought my roommate and I a cab to this internet cafe because it was obviously "too far" (a mile tops.) That was really sweet. And he didn't ask us for anything. I love Africa.
But I really do. I get frustrated alot here. But when I am falling asleep at night I can reflect on the day and acknowledge that I don't have nearly as many low points throughout the day as I did when I was at home. Not saying I wasn't happy at home, but I am happier here. I don't have to wrap myself up in these preconceived notions people hold about each other at home. Not to mention live up to things I don't actually think I am.
Thinking too much...
But its good. The things I want to think about, however, somehow get pushed into the back of my head. Either they are too painful, or just downright too exhausting to deal with.
This week we finally talked to the captain about getting us more stuff to do. Her reaction? "Always wanting to do more! White people always want to do more." I was a bit shocked by that. I didn't take a year off of the one thing I have dreamed about basically my entire life, and sit on a plane for 30 hours to not do as much as I possibly can to benefit others...
Is that asking too much?
Haha, its funny because they get so flustered when we ask for more work. Samwell, the eye doctor and co-captain, is always on our side which is awesome. He is definately one of my favorites at the clinic. He has really taken Lisette and I under his wing, and wants really to take good care of us, and get us the work we want to do.
Its awesome though because there is a Salvation Army school 10 minutes away where they might need people to teach English a couple days a week...
Also we are going to repaint the inside of the malnutrition clinic bright colors (maybe even with murals!)
On top of that we really want to start figuring out things we could do for the mentally disabled girl we met at the orphanage we visited at orientation camp.
So busy!
Lisette and I got in our first real fight the other day. I was really nervous about the malnutrition painting because I wasn't sure if I wanted to put as much energy into something I didn't think would benefit people alot.
I think what its really about is that I am so scared because at home, especially in school (slc...), I would get myself into these projects, or activities and then end up carrying all the weight. Not to mention I would sacrifice so much more of myself then I really wanted to just so that others (who neither needed or deserved it) would benefit from it.
Boohiss.
Sorry to bash home so much, but even though I loved highschool and most of the people I met throughout the experience, I have just begun to realize some things (also things I did to myself...) about it that drove me crazy.
So Lisette and I came to the conclusion that we can no matter what find a compromise.We deal with people and emotions so similarly that its like we can always find common ground to understand each other on. In my opinion, I don't need to be best friends with her, but as long as we can get each other I think we will be happy.
I really miss my parents, and my brothers. Aaron wrote me an email today and it made me so happy! Its hard to imagine that we hated each other at one point. I can't wait to see him in London.
Sorry this blog was so...diary like, and not more based on what we've been up to. Honestly, the past couple days have been kinda slow, but on an exciting note I am almost finished with Madame Bovary, which I loved.
We are going to meet with the others in a little bit so that we can plan some trips to Accra, Cape Coast, Ho and plenty of other places. We are going to try and see the entire South of Ghana during our volunteer time so that during our 2 1/2 week travel time we can go to the North (which is supposed to be beautiful. It is prodominently Muslim and they have a completely different culture. Not to mention there are ELEPHANTS. And I promised Kojo that I would ride one back to Accra in order to catch my flight.)
Keep the emails coming. They make me smile :)

Not feeling the best...

2006-09-09T07:52:00.000-06:00

We are in Kumasi right now and we are going to return home to Wiamoase when we are done here at the internet cafe. I am excited to get home. I've had enough of the city for now. Even though when we get home we have to deal with 500 little kids chasing after us screaming Bruni.
I don't like that I am starting to get a little cynical. I am just tired of the attention that our skin is drawing to us. Not to mention the fact that people alot of the time treat us like walking ATMs. They say G-d bless you for coming to help Africa, and then they ask you for money. Its a little frustrating, however I am learning to deal with these situations in a really composed and mature matter. Wheras a month ago I would be awkward.
The only thing that makes me really uncomfortable here is all the praying. They stay up all night, stand in prayer circles wherever there is room and pray and talk in tongues. I don't at all feel threatened by them, or like they are offending me. I just can't, in anyway relate to that kind of faith.
My theory on faith, and on life is that you should strive to help those around you. If we are all G-d's children as basically every monotheistic religion claims, I would think that he/she wants us to help each other. Most emphasized on in Christrianity is the fact that you should model your life and choices after Jesus.
So whats with all the praying?
In my eyes, its not conductive, and its not helping anyone. I can understand grasping onto religion as a guide and as a matter of comfort, but relying on G-d or a "higher power" to resolve your issues is NOT congruent with how I see the world. I think people need to take more responsibility for their own actions.
We met Rikke, Elisabet and Caro in Kumasi and Agreek last night. G-d, I missed Elisabet. She keeps me so realistic and grounded. She is such a great person, and I am so glad that I know her.
Its funny because I don't really miss home that much, but I miss the people that I've known for a month that are here too. I think its because I am being to realistic to allow myself to miss home too much. I really just don't want to ruin this experience with thinking about home all the time. Its not worth it.
Our project is alot slower than I would have liked, but at the same time its awesome for two reasons:
1) we can pick our own hours so we are allowed to travel and do our own thing alot of the time
2) we have the opportunity to work in the community and other communities in need so that we can stretch our impact from just the people in this clinic
I really want to build a soccer feild (build a soccer feild....ya I don't really know) for the kids in the community. I would just need a week, 12 soccer balls and 2 nets and I could figure something out. Not to mention there is 4-5 schools in a 10 mile radius of Wiamoase where I'm sure I could help tutor English and Math for kids who need the help. I just want to do as much as I can while I'm here.
I can't necessarily change the world, but I can impact people positively and thats really all I need to feel like I got the most out of this trip.
This is a short update but I really want some pizza and we gotta get to Kejetia to hop a trotro home and Kejetia is hell.

Still moving like a snail, but now posting my updates...

2006-09-05T08:40:00.000-06:00

Great, now I can retype.
So this weekend was a blast. We went into Kumasi and grocery shopped, and met up with Elisabet and Toon and got ice cream-a total luxury here. Then the next night Toon and Liane came to stay with us for the evening. We had a nice dinner, rice...yum, and then went to get some Star beer at a local bar. Speaking of that, its funny how when you ask for anything here people will ALWAYS want to show you. They will never just point you in the right direction, they have to show you.
Elisabet is unhappy with her project because she is working at a very wealthy school, where she barely interacts with the children. She is trying to switch, but we are going to visit her Friday so we can at least see how bad it is.
Liane lives in a small village with a host family. She is also working in a private school, however it is funded by the government, so in reality it fosters to very poor children. She was telling us how her host family takes her into town everytime they go. Its almost like they are showing her off. So not only is she benefitting from this, but her host family and the school they run is too...
Toon is bored because his school doesn't start for another couple weeks. He is busy exploring Kumasi. I am jealous, even though Kumasi is the most overwhelming thing I have ever experienced. Well, expect Accra. I thank G-d that I am living in a village, especially the one I'm in.
Let's face it, I love Africa.
Well, at least Ghana.
What I don't love is that in our house there are spiders thesize of a small child. Okay maybe not that bad, but I am talking HUGE like 3 or 4 inches in diameter. We have killed a grand total of10 as of today. We are having a nice dinner to celebrate.
Another highlight: We found peanutbutter.
On Sunday Auntie Mary took us to 4 funerals, which I am really glad we did. Funerals here are held on the last weekend of the month over a 3 day period. Saturday is a parade and the burial, while Sunday and Monday are dedicated to receiving guests and friends. It is traditional to wear black, cover your head with a scarf and give a little money to the families. Unfortunately the last 2 things we weren't informed of, regardless I think people we just glad to see us there.
It makes me really happy to associate myself with this community. Everyone knows us, and they all try to help us get around and get things and feel comfortable. All the kids still chase after us yelling "Obruni" but I am hoping that will pass in due time, the sooner the better.
I go by Rebecca here because no one would ever catch onto Rebi, probably because Rebecca is a bible name...hahaha. Anyway now I am "Sister Becky." So if anyone plans to write me, you have to address it to Rebecca or Becky because no one will know who Rebi is.
Today we worked from 7 till1ish with the babies! We had to weigh them and give them vitamins and vaccines. I love Tuesdays, but towards 12ish I start to get exhausted because waiting your turn isn't really a Ghana thing. They kinda throw the kids at you all at once and expect you to figure it out. Great...well I do have to say, there is no such thing as a cuter baby than a Ghana baby. I swear by it.
The health system in Ghana is a little demented because native and local medicine is still widely used in villages. It only costs 70,000 cedis or around $7 a year to be insured for all medications or emergencies, but most people end up paying into the millions, cedis that is, for operations and sudden illnesses because they can't afford the $7 a year. Or because people go into such denial about medicine here. The tribal medical values are extremely difficult to change.
It costs around 30,000 cedis a week to treat malnutrition. It has become a huge problem in villages where mothers are weening the children too early from breast milk because of new pregnancies. Also, malnutrition causes swelling, which most locals treat with oinments of lotions. In reality malnutrition is caused by a lack of protein which can only be treated with proper nutrition and an extra intake of lacking vitamins. Sadly malnutrition, if not treated, is always fatal. The cure lies in education.
It seems it almost always does.
I am very impressed by the attempt at spreading the knowledge of proper health care in Ghana. Most of the adults and elders have scars covering their cheeks from native medical practices, but you rarely see it in children or the younger generation. Also the number of "life choice" signs-choosing to have sex and using the right protection-posted around the cities and villages is astounding. It is the smaller and more rural areas that need to be targeted though. The information rarely gets all the way out there.
I should get going though, we want to go to the market to buy plantanes, casava and yams...personally I am getting sick of spaghetti.

Not only that, but it won't publish jack

2006-09-05T08:33:00.000-06:00

I am testing to see if this works. If it does, Hoorah!

This computer moves like a snail...

2006-09-05T07:48:00.000-06:00

Okay so my last blog didn't work...

2006-09-01T08:10:00.000-06:00

I am going to have to retype (or at least try) all of what I wrote last time, plus the extra stuff I have in my brain now. Hoorah. Joy of Africa.
So we are in Kumasi right now because we desperately needed to go to a grocery store. The spaghetti, ketchup and rice routine got old fast. So now we stocked up on food. Not to mention I found a Twix bar. I almost died. I did have tears in my eyes. Sad.
Anyway, to start where I left off, we finished up our stay at orientation camp. The last night we went to a bar and it was awesome because I have found the best beer in the entire world here (Star), but Rikke's found got stolen when we were off buying some things. That blows, and it was even worse because it was the day before we were going to our projects, and it made me feel kind of shaky about this whole thing all over again.
I get that shaky feeling everyday, who the hell am I kidding?
Anyway, we all got super close during the camp so it was hard to leave everyone. Another set of sad goodbyes to wear on my alredy thin "missing capacity" Does that make any sense?
When we were at the camp we went to an orphanage which was a really good experience, because we finally got to see some social projects in Ghana. The orphanage was well kept and all the kids seemed relatively happy. However, as I was talking to some of them Elisabet came to find me and dragged me to the hall where all the kids rooms were. There was a girl there that everyone referred to as "crazy Jenna", and I swear on my life I will never ever forget the site of her room, or lack thereof. She actually slept in the open hallway, on a ripped up mattress outside the room where all the other kids had bunk beds and mosquito nets. It seriously tore my heart out.
When we got back to camp I asked one of our counselors, Kofi, to explain the situation to me. He actually told me that it was a good sign that she wasn't locked away, and she was running around with the other kids. In African culture, to be mentally handicapped is seen as embarressing, so nobody grows accustomed to it. All the other kids had no concept of her dissability. They thought was nuts, or even worse a danger to them
I don't know if it was the sight of the bed, or the realization that kids like that have no shot in hell here. In Western societies people try to make a strong effort to integrate people with dissabilities into the mainstream. Not only that, but people are educated and understand mental dissability so they don't have too many misconceptions about it.
Sorry to be so despressing.
My roommate, Lisette, and I have an enormous apartment to ourselves which is right next to the clinic we work in. Despite the fact that we have no running water and the electricity goes out for a day every 2 days, it is a very pleasant and VERY safe place. Everyone at the clinic wants us to feel comfortable so its awesome that we have them to turn to if we need something.
The first day we worked we organized the cards which the medical records are kept on. There is over 6000s cards and they were all haphazardly placed in cardboard boxes. They don't even have filing cabinets. Not only that but at the malnutrition clinic they don't have bottles, they have to spoon feed the children all the milk formula. At the eye clinic they have to manually check for the correct lenses to improve vision.
These things seem so basic to me. So basic to anyone coming from a wester country. But to them, a filing cabinet even better a computer that would not only sort but save medical files is a luxury. Bottles. I mean...bottles?
Culture shock.
This is such a good experience and the longer I am here, the longer I feel like I am actually getting something out of it. Not just missing home.
I do miss home.
But, I think I miss eggs benedict the most. Haha, Laura you understand.
I was so glad to come to the city today because we got to eat at a restaurant where I had lomein noodles! I could have even splurged on a milkshake, but I think my body is getting used to not eating as much, so I was (and still am) completely stuffed.
We are going to go the market later, and I am excited, but trying to prepare myself for the overwhelming experience I know it will be (thank you Triggs.)
I should get moving...I have so much to say, but somehow I always forget something. Well I can always write it next time.

And I Found an Internet Cafe

2006-08-30T10:39:00.000-06:00

And I'm Finally Here

2006-08-22T14:07:00.000-06:00

I am finally able to write, even though I have been here almost a week. I am staying with 11 other exchangees, all from different countries (although there are 4 from Denmark.) We stayed in Accra for 2 days, then left for Kumasi for our Orientation Camp. All the people here are really amazing. Its such a cool thing to have such a strong bond right from the start because we all have made this choice, this sacrifice. We are all bound to have different experiences because most of us are in different cities and doing different projects, but we are still going to share this immense weight of being a Westerner in this very different culture. My room mate and project partner is Lisetta (20 yr, Denmark.) We are going to go to our project on Saturday, which is in Wieomasi (30 minutes outside Kumasi, the capital of the Ashanti region.) I think I get along best with Elisabet (20 yr, Iceland) because we have a really similar sense of humor and outlook on this experience. The other exchangees are Rikke (pronounced Raggae-I know how awesome is that??) who is 19 from Denmark, Stine (like the end of Chri"Stine") 20 from Denmark, Sara 20 from Switzerland, Sanna 21 from Sweden, Toon (like Thom with an "n") 24 from Belgium, Caro 23 and Helen 20 from France, and Liane 18 from Denmark. We all get along really well, and its so nice to have them around. We are having language courses at our orientation camp for 6-8 hours a DAY!! Elisabet and I just sit in the back and read because the teacher talks so slow and there is absolutely no rhyme and reason to the lessons and we don't learn jack...bothers the shit out of me, but honestly its Africa, they have such a different way of doing things here. The exchangees always talk about "africa time" because everyone is ALWAYS late here. On our way to Kumasi we were supposed to leave at 8 am, but didn't get on the bus until noon. We managed to shove 13 people into a trotro (a van the size of a VW- yay 10K!) and all of our luggage. Don't ask me how. I almost suffocated, but I guess its all part of the experience. I brought SO MUCH luggage compared to the others. They are only granted 20 kilos at the airport TOTAL, so they all just brought backpacks. I am going to send half my stuff home with my mom when she comes in November. There is a beautiful baby girl, Niko, at the "inn" we are staying at now. She is the daughter of the cook, and she lets me take her and play with her whenever I want (when I am not passing out from boredom in language class.) She gets me so excited to be able to work with kid for 6 months. I can't wait to get to my project where I can get settled and unpacked and get a better feel for things. I am planning on getting a bike to make my way around as well, so that should be fun (not only that, but a bike should cost like $20 here...everything is unbelievably cheap...like I am paying 60 cents to use this computer for an hour.) It still feels a little like the West because we are all together, and in a "hotel" (not at all what most of you are thinking.) Things will change significantly in a week. Enough for now, I have to let my parents know I am still alive.

The day has finally come...

2006-08-16T07:26:00.000-06:00

So I leave today. Weird. I barely slept last night. I kept waking up and thinking of all the things I had to do this morning. Then I would tell myself not to do them right then because I should have been sleeping. Not productive. Oh well. My parents are nagging me to a new extent. And we don't have any milk so I can't eat cereal. I just wanted one last bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. I am not looking forward to the 30 hour trip. I am already feeling exhausted. My mom just told me for the hundreth time to call her when I land in Chicago, Frankfurt, Lagos, and Accra. She will tell me at least 4 more times before I get on the plane. This doesn't feel real. It feels like I am going to go to my grandparents or something. My room is so empty. Saying bye to everyone yesterday was terrible. I feel dehydrated. This all feels so final. I just said goodbye to my dad. I don't even know if I can cry anymore. This goodbye thing is all so exhausting. It drains you. Well, its time to go through 2 hours of security. The next time I write, I will be in Ghana. Weird.

First

2006-07-27T15:16:00.000-06:00

This is my blog, I hope you like it.